


Fandom X-treme

by ninja_daniel



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s05e12 Wormhole X-Treme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninja_daniel/pseuds/ninja_daniel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel goes down in flames, but his team comes to the rescue. Facebook can be a rough place for fans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fandom X-treme

**Author's Note:**

> Never piss off the writers.

 

“I can’t believe these people! How could they be so, so … _asinine_!” said Daniel, trying to grasp the right word out of thin air with his hands.

“Daniel, didn’t I tell you not to fight with the computer?” said Jack coming into their living room where Daniel was working on his laptop. “It will only make your blood pressure go up.”

“Jack, my blood pressure is just fine. But these people keep deleting my comments!”

“And by ‘these people,’ you mean who exactly?”

“Well uhm… never mind.”

“So, whatcha doin’? asked Jack while moving behind Daniel. He wrapped his arms around his lover’s shoulders and peered at the computer screen. Ah, Facebook.

Daniel sighed. “If you must know, I joined a fandom group for Raymond Gunne, the actor who plays Dr. Levant in Wormhole X-Treme.”

“Should you be meddling in that stuff?” said Jack, sitting on the sofa next to Daniel and pushing against his arm to have a better look at the screen.

“Consider it a courtesy service from your favorite anthropologist. He’s keeping an eye on the show’s fans to evaluate their attitudes about the Stargate program and the possibility of encountering extra-terrestrial life.”

“But if they’re all just a bunch of asinine pricks, why bother?”

“No, the fans are fine—if a bit shell-shocked. It’s the administrators of the group who keep missing the point.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Well, they don’t allow open discussions and behave exactly the opposite way to the spirit of the character Gunne plays in the show.”

“Which is…?”

“Jack, you know. Peaceful explorer? Learn about other cultures and languages? By the way, Teal’c told me you two watch the show together at the base. So you can stop pretending.”

Jack closed his eyes and nodded in defeat. This, the most public of leaks of their program was a horrendous pile of paper work waiting to happen.

“Jack, did you give Martin Lloyd access to our mission files?”

“Absolutely not! The big guy keeps asking me the same thing, so I’ve started watching. For surveillance reasons, of course.”

“Of course. Actually, I think I know what may have happened, but I need more evidence,” said Daniel. “You see, a fan posted a comment in this Gunne appreciation group in Facebook about a certain Joe Spencer, the sci-fi writer.”

“That rings a bell… that should not be ringing at all!!” said Jack, slowly raising his voice and his eyebrows. “Joe the Barber!!! He was supposed to keep his big trap shut about us. So, what did they say about him?”

“I don’t know. The post and my questions were deleted because the moderator said only stuff about Gunne is allowed in the group.”

“But isn’t this about the character?”

“They have very narrow guidelines about what can be posted.”

“Well that’s bad, but really good. The less discussion about any of them being us, the better for us now or later.”

“My linguistic abilities must be expanding. I actually understood what you said.”

Jack took out his reading glasses from his pocket, perched them a little low on his nose, and looked at the screen.

“They post an awful lot of pictures of this guy. Why do they show his photos with all those flowery frames, fruit baskets, and teddy bears?”

“It’s supposed to be artistic, Jack.”

“Doesn’t anybody like sports or trucks? What about a fishing theme?”

“I don’t like that stuff any better,” responded Daniel scrolling a little bit faster down the timeline searching for something of real interest besides the bland art.

“You mean, what’s his name… Gun! He doesn’t.”

“Gunne. Dr. Levant is an archeologist too so he’d like things like digs, conservation labs and libraries but that’s neither here nor there. These fans are mostly women.”

“Oh, that explains a few things.”

“Jack, don’t underestimate these fans just because they’re women. Most fans of sci-fi shows are very smart. They like science fiction because they find it intellectually challenging but that’s another point these moderators miss too. Okay, let me try to post again.” Daniel thought for a moment and then typed over the light gray words on the screen inviting him to “write something”:

 

> _**Emerson Peabody** _
> 
> _Question: I really like how the story arc of Gunne’s character Dr. Levant develops in the last seasons. How did Joe Spencer contribute to his stories? Did he and Martin Lloyd work together? Gunne did a nice job interpreting their stories._

“Emerson Peabody… who the hell is that?”

“Jack, he’s a fictional archeologist. Long story.”

“No need to make it long, I get it,” said Jack rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean, Emerson’s story is very long. Like 10 books or so.”

“Forget I asked.”

Suddenly, the screen flashed with incoming notifications. Several fans liked the post and a couple responded with light comments. After a few minutes, just when Jack and Daniel were about to fall asleep, a new reply came through.

 

> _**Lacy Schulz**. **Emerson** , I heard that during the last Comic con in San Diego Martin said at a panel that he liked Joe’s storiesbecause for him they seemed the most realistic and coherent._
> 
> _**Umbria Hurt**. **Emerson Peabody,** I warned you about OT and argumentative posts._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. But I just asked a question about Gunne’s character._
> 
> _**Umbria Hurt**. No, what you did is open a discussion about why you don’t like his scripts during the early seasons and why  this writer is better than the others. That’s argumentative and will not be tolerated._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody** I did not ask any such thing._
> 
> _**Umbria Hurt**. Since you continue to be argumentative and disruptive, I have no other option but to block you from the group. You were warned._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody** What? Wait!_

 

Too late, the whole post was deleted. Daniel tried to respond in a new post, but the page was unresponsive. As he refreshed the browser, he automatically went back to his newsfeed. He had been summarily kicked out.

“She’s totally ruthless!” said Jack, with a note of admiration in his voice.

“But we are craftier. Let me try something else.” Daniel opened his message window and clicked the name of Grace Roman.

“If I asked who this Roman person is will you tell me is a long story?”

“Nancy Grace Roman is a famous astronomer.” Daniel continued typing:

 

> _**Emerson Peabody**. Sam, I got kicked out._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. I saw that! You’re not the only one. They are cutting heads left and right today. Nobody can say a peep in opposition._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Don’t post anything; we need you to keep an eye on things for now._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. But nothing interesting is gonna happen in this group as long as these two ladies keep such chokehold. The other fan groups have much more interesting discussions._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Just out of curiosity, what happened after I left?_
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Some people made comments in German. They’re gone now. Then the admin posted a new rule: only English is allowed. Gunne is Canadian and some of the fans speak French too. Several fans got offended and left. One committed OT-post suicide and got blocked._

 

“Daniel, we need to figure out what Joe Spencer is doing,” nudged Jack, pushing his glasses back up.

 

> _**Emerson Peabody**. Sam, did you see that post about Joe Spencer?_
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Yes! Got a screen grab. J. Tibby Church posted the comment._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Ah, a Trekkie._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. ??_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. As in James Tiberius Kirk._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Aha! Well, I’ll look into this guy._

 

A new message notification window popped up. All of SG-1 were included in the chat.

 

> _**Shaft Michaels.** Hi guys. Way to go down in flames, Jackson!_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Shut up, Cam. Are you ready to try something?_
> 
> _**Shaft Michaels.** I think Vala is making some headway in getting info on the SDCC panel out of the other admin._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. If you call getting them to post all their photo-ops with Gunne an improvement._
> 
> _**Tee Murray**. They also discussed their vacations at great length with many images of food. It looks quite different from the food we have in the mess hall._

 

“Danny boy, if we don’t get any answers by the end of business today, we are gonna have to bring Joe in for questioning. He already has a couple of marks on his record so it could get ugly for him.”

“We should try to know as much as possible before arresting him. Give Vala a chance,” said Daniel, nervously tapping his fingers on his laptop.

Then a new message was posted.

 

> _**Tee Murray.** Cameron Mitchell **,** one of the fire-breathing reptile women has communicated to Vala Mal Doran that she  dislikes American fans. I am far from certain that she would have attended a convention in this country._
> 
> _**Shaft Michaels.** Good point._
> 
> _**Tee Murray.** Indeed._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Look, she finally asked the admin about Joe Spencer! I’ll post a screen grab._
> 
>  

Daniel double clicked on the tiny image Sam had uploaded and made it large enough to read:

 

> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. **Jacinth** , you are so well informed about our talented Ray. You are always in the know and he seems to keep you among his dearest fans. So, I don’t want to pry, but I suspect that he never really liked Spencer’s vision for his character. If you don’t mind my asking? Everyone is talking about this online and I was sure you’d know better than anyone._

 

“Does she need to lay it out so thickly? She’s gonna blow it,” Jack grumbled. Before Daniel had enough time to answer, Sam’s uploaded another screen grab:

 

> **_Jacinth Tubs._ ** _Ray certainly appreciates fans who show some class, unlike others I shan’t mention. Fandom is so frightful these days. About your question, I don’t like Spencer and can’t understand why they use him as a source at all. I was told that Martin—he’s such a sweet, dear man—was offered one of Spencer’s stories by a publisher. Imagine this Spencer, a barber! Well, the barber refused to cooperate, surely to get a better deal. But the producers bought his stories directly from the publishers who owned the rights. A total waste of money, imho. His stories are nothing but rubbish. I like to see Levant and Danning interact more closely in the show. I shan’t say any more because it goes against our rules. But this Spencer insists on focusing on the team instead of Ray. The little man has no imagination._
> 
> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. **Jacinth** , I knew you would be the right person to explain things properly. It is a delight to learn new things about Ray. Thank you so very much!_

 

“I’ll be darned…. Vala did it!”

“She’s good, Jack. If you need a con, Vala is your go-to person.” The message window showed a new message:

 

> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. And that, lady and gents, it’s how that is done! Never underestimate the power of flattery ;)_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody.** General O’Neill says good job everyone, especially Vala._
> 
> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. *takes a bow*_
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Daniel, is the General there?_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Glued to the screen._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Hi sir! It looks like Joe tried to avoid doing anything wrong. Is there anything else that we should do about  this?_

 

Jack took over Daniel’s laptop.

 

> _**Emerson Peabody**. GON: No need to, Carter. I just wanted to know what the story was out there. I’ll call Joe to confirm. Hammond knows the show has been reflecting problematic leaks._
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Is he worried?_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. GON: All part of a plausible deniability for the program._

Daniel grabbed his laptop back.

 

> _**Emerson Peabody**. (me) But Jack, we have made that deniability so plausible, that if the Stargate program ever goes public, nobody will ever believe us._
> 
> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. Wait. Aren’t you two in the same place? Tau’ri are so weird._
> 
> _**Tee Murray**. Indeed._
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Well, uhm. I just wanted to make the point for everyone. If we keep explaining away all we do as fantasy it may come back to bite us in the ass._

 

“But your ass is so bitable, Danny boy,” said Jack moving his eyebrows up and down. Daniel rolled his eyes.

 

> _**Emerson Peabody**. Guys, what about the discussions in the other FB groups?_
> 
> _**Grace Roman**. Nothing to report. Except for the slash groups. Holy Hanna!_
> 
> _**Francesca Drake-Raleigh**. The stuff there is so totally hot!_
> 
> _**Emerson Peabody**. Good grief, slash. Well, gotta go! Bye._

 

Daniel closed his laptop as fast as he could, but it was too late.

“What’s a slash group?” said Jack, with a confused look in his face.

“Long, long story,” said Daniel, letting his head rest back on the sofa with a long suffering sigh.

 

~~ Fin ~~


End file.
